A Homebirth

Somewhere we lose ourselves. Maybe not ourselves, but our voices. I remember being single, in college, just thinking...always thinking. I had so much time to think and hardly anything to worry about. I was able to think. To myself, about myself, what I wanted to know, learn, or believe. The best part was that everyone let me, they knew it was my time to think. I was truly finding who and what I wanted to be. 
Then I had a child.

It still amazes me how people suddenly expect you to listen without thinking. 

A baby is conceived and you are born into the world of 'oh you must'. Babies are only born in hospitals. Boys get circumcised. All babies must get vaccinated with every vaccine. Disposable diapers are whats sold on store shelves so that Must be what you are using, right? Babies cry in the cart, why would you care to strap them onto your body to soothe them, that's just spoiling. Feed your baby rice to help them sleep. Wean from the breast at 1 year of age...
Oh, I could go on forever, but don't worry I wont. 
I was afraid to post about my interest in a homebirth. I suppose it's more than an interest, it is something that I truly and passionately long for. The stigma against it is horrendous, and silly old me actually cares what people are going to say to me about it. 
I love the thought of birthing in the comfort of my own home. With my husband by my side, where I am mentally and physically able to listen to ME to MY body not what some nurse is hollering for me to do. It's not their body they have no idea what I am ready to do or when I am ready to do it.  A birth is meant to be special and remembered in a good way, not the way I remember it with Oreo. 
So I will leave it at that for now. It feels good to let you all know my thoughts. 
Please I beg of you, if you have had a homebirth contact me, I would really appreciate the support. I have so many questions that I'd love to ask a veteran! I have been researching Homebriths since the birth of Oreo because I knew there had to be some other way. Call me crazy but I even watch some of the Homebirth video's on You Tube! I think if I can handle those and still want a homebirth, it is meant to be!
I've not found a midwife yet but I am hoping to by December! Wish me luck...

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